第592章 愈发离谱的计划

第592章 愈发离谱的计划
"Are you kidding me?"
希腊边境的麻瓜旅馆之中，双胞胎看着来自德姆斯特朗的信件开始互相大眼瞪小眼起来。
按照他们原定的计划，卡卡洛夫会帮着他们注册一家看起来像是和官方有点牵连的皮包商会，而他们就是要靠着这个四处来揭露美国魔法国会的正面目。
可现在的问题是——这个商会是不是有点太过牵连的厉害了？
盖着美国魔法国会国际魔法合作司的印章，有着国际魔法贸易标准协会办公室主任的签名，名字也是起的非常离谱的国际合作商会…
两人甚至想去信质问下卡卡洛夫了——你开玩笑的吧，这东西不是假的证件吧？
但是因为家庭的原因，两人对这东西还是蛮熟悉的，怎么检查都查不出问题来…就很离谱…
为了安全起见，他们最终还是写信询问了更多有关这间商会的事情，然后两个人在接到回信之后变得哭笑不得了。
简而言之，新上任的魔法国会魔法合作司的人什么都不懂也就算了，还什么钱都敢拿，偏生这事卡卡洛夫还上心，干脆就花了笔钱弄下了这个比真的还真的玩意…
“弄的我都想过去了…”
两人看着那几份文件，摇起了头，“这也太离谱了，原来还真的有比魔法部还要糟糕的地方…”
商会名称有了，其它的就好说了。
制造奖章，锦旗什么的手艺两人再熟悉不过了——这些年他们没少在整蛊的魔法道具上花功夫，只是他们都没想到，这门手艺在毕业前居然作用在这上边了…
——
In the magical world of Greece, a barber shop tucked away in an alley of the commercial street is opening up, and the owner begins to fiddle with his barber tools.
Those self-cleaning tools are a great invention; they unceremoniously push any customer who tries to inquire about prices into the chair, and without delay, they start cutting hair and grooming the customers, making the process very neat.
Of course, such attentive service comes at a high price—there's a line in small print on the sign that states five Galleons per person. Although it's very small, it certainly doesn't violate any regulations of the Ministry of Magic.
“生意不好做啊…”
老板凯文看了眼街道——最近外国游客来的比较少了，实在是不好敲竹杠了。
可他又不能随意换地方，这一片的管理人员好不容易才都熟络了，换个地方这就不好讲了啊。
“老板，老板！”
今年招收的学徒急匆匆的从后边的库房拿着一封信跑了过来，慌里慌张的让他皱起了眉头——这家伙实在是调教不出来啊…
“怎么了，难道又是哪个该死的魔法国度出现问题了，又要害的我们客人减少了？”
“不是，老板，我们获奖了！环欧洲国际理发店最佳笑容奖！”
What is this thing?
听到这个名头，凯文的眉头就皱起来了。
什么和什么啊，他也没参加过什么比赛啊——就算参加了，他对自家的店铺还是有自知之明的，配吗？
“拿过来，我看看…”
他黑着脸把信件拿过来——总觉得这是同行在嘲讽他。
信非常厚，鼓鼓囊囊不知道都塞了什么。
【致凯文理发店：
在美国魔法社会遭遇了一年的灾难之后，我们终于重组了新的魔法国会，而所有的美国魔法界的居民对这些艰难的日子里所遇见的帮助以及存在于记忆里的那些温暖难以忘怀…
于本年度四月，在新任魔法国会的魔法合作司的引导下，我们国际合作商会成立了，为了快速的恢复我国的魔法国际贸易，特进行了一次全国性的评选活动，来选出那些我们在最艰苦时刻依旧无法忘却的商会和商店…
在经过大规模的调查与研究之后（凯文眨巴了下眼睛，跳过了一大段废话）…
请贵商会（商店）派遣专员，携带相关证明和三十加隆的活动经费，前往希腊xx城xx办事处（xx街道xx号）领取奖章和获奖证书。
```html——International Chamber of Commerce Greece Office
"See, I told you I was right, we've all won awards abroad!"
"What the hell are you talking about?!" Kevin cursed, "It's just our damn competitors!"```
“他们也是做理发的吗，老板？”
“屁，抢劫！”
凯文脸色通红的骂着脏话——三十个加隆，抢到他的头上来了？
他在这条街道抢钱抢了半辈子了，今天居然有人用猫头鹰来信抢他的钱？
这何止是试探，简直是在挑衅了！
“去，”他气呼呼的朝着自家学徒嘱咐着，“和魔法部打听下，看看能不能把那个恶心人的办事处送去监狱——骗老子头上了！”
然而，回信在三十分钟后来了。
"Really?"
凯文看着信件，一脸不可思议，“人家在魔法部那边出示了货真价实的注册表，确确实实的就是来自美国魔法国会？”
“愣着干嘛，快点，拿上加隆，过去领奖啊！”
他踢了自家学徒一下子，“领上了挂在门口，这么漂亮的奖章，以后这五个加隆我就收的更放心了！”
想了想，凯文担心学徒办不利索，干脆留着他看店收费，自己带着钱就匆匆朝着那边的街道赶去，生怕晚了一步拿不上奖章。
虽然不知道美国佬吃错什么药了，但是这个奖不拿白不拿。
但是即便是他紧赶慢赶，依旧是有些晚了，在他过去的时候，霍——在那个所谓的办事处，好些个人都在排队。
还都是老熟人，让他看的特别不爽。
前边那个，卖药材缺斤少两的。
再前边那个，酒馆里的水兑酒卖。
再前边那个，口口声声说着兜售禁书，看名字一个赛一个擦边，里边全是不知道哪里搞来的麻瓜小说，连插图都没有，被气急败坏的人举报了多次愣是进不去，实打实的黑心奸商。
还有中间那个，两份菜单收费，简直是个抢劫犯。
‘晦气，怎么和这些人聚在一起了，这是部里打算一锅端了？’
凯文的腿肚子有些发紧，他非常担心出事了，但是最前方已经有人捧着金灿灿的奖章出来了。
‘这做工，这造型，精美啊！’
他赞叹起来，真的是好手艺。
就是人实在是太差劲了——他认出那个一脸嘚瑟的家伙了，那就是个王八蛋，坏种里的坏种，活该被诅咒死的家伙。
那家伙叫，老西比，一个在不远处开街道的理发师。
‘最佳巧手？他也配？他家的工具都仿制的我家的！’
凯文实在是忍不住想打人了，但是最后还是忍住了——算了，先把自家的东西搞到手再说。
——
“Hello, I am Lucy, the receptionist of the business association. Here is my ID badge.”
When Kevin walked in, he was taken aback—wait, is this organization really that legitimate?
She is still a particularly beautiful girl, and that metal identity badge looks exceptionally official (inspired by the Ministry of Magic telephone booth identity badges, something the twins have grown tired of).
That standard English almost caught him off guard, but fortunately, a translator followed him around, which made the business meeting appear more formal.
‘The office inside is a bit shabby… but there's no helping it, it’s a temporary office after all…’
他自己给这个找着借口，然后看向了那位负责此事看起来就相当严肃的中年人。
“您好，我是凯文理发店的老板凯文，您是。”
“I am the overall person in charge of this trip to Greece, Sim.”
In equally standard English, the middle-aged man shook hands with him, then briefly introduced the reasons for this award ceremony and the purpose of this action.
“We feel it is our duty to let everyone in the magical world know what the ray of sunshine is that stays in our hearts during difficult times, Mr. Kevin. Although your shop's business practices are somewhat unrecognized, there are still many people who write to us saying how beautiful that hairstyle is and how it lifts their spirits…”
“So that's how it is...”
Kevin found himself starting to believe it—earning money is one thing, but having his skills recognized is really...
He happily paid the fee to Miss Lucy and received his medal and certificate.
"How..."
他发呆的看着自己手中的奖牌——怎么这么小，难道我的奖项真的就比不过那家伙的？
“怎么了，凯文先生？”
“这个奖牌…”
“That's the basic version of the medal, Mr. Kevin. If you are willing to pay more for materials and production costs, we can offer a luxury version...”
Kevin looked at Mr. Sim and smiled, a hint of daze appearing in his eyes.
The luxurious version of the previous large-sized medal...
"How much?"
"Need seventy gallons."
…
"Hang it up for me!"
The new golden, magically enchanted medal hung in the store, and Kevin looked at it, his face beaming with joy.
就这么一个东西挂上去，那就是国际知名的店铺了！
而且不是人人都有的水货奖，他打听了下，这条街道他是独一份的！这叫什么，这就是荣誉！
“就是…那群美国人太精明了…”
他叹息起来，然后继续回去擦起自家赚钱的工具来，不知道为什么，现在回想起来，他总觉得自己被抢了。
——
```html“Deduct the translation fees...”
“Deduct the fees for the venue we rented...”
“Then deduct the expenses related to our event...”
“Also, the costs for using the compound decoction...”```
“There are still one thousand five hundred galleons left!”
Fred calculated quickly, a pleased expression appearing on his face.
“Then we have to consider the amount we borrowed from Mr. Karkaroff for initial expenses and the fees for establishing connections—so when we add that up, we only made a profit of one hundred galleons.”
“Wait, I still need to deduct the mental distress fee for dressing up as a receptionist...”
“Seven gallons of expenses... so...”
“Seven gallons? Are you joking, my brother!”
“Never mind, let’s switch to a few more countries and talk about it later. Our goal isn’t to make money, but to pull pranks with this. Next time, I’ll play the role of the receptionist…”
“This is still acceptable…”
“What should we do with the extra gallons from now on?”
“我们拿一部分开店资金，再还了布莱克先生的部分投资，其余的全部购买物资捐献给美国魔法界的普通民众好了…”
“Yes, I agree.”
两人开玩笑似的把资金安排妥当了——这钱来的是容易，可他们还是觉得笑话商店才是实打实的生意，至于这次，多出去的捐出去给那些普通民众算了。
——
“Which country is it now?”
“I think it’s the seventh country?”
Fred was chatting with his brother, feeling that he was utterly exhausted.
They never imagined that one day even collecting money could be so tiring.
Unbelievable—now even they can receive letters transferred by Kakarov. Someone has written to the so-called International Cooperation Chamber, questioning why awards are not being presented in their country, given that the relationship between the two countries has always been good!
According to the hints in the accompanying letters sent by Karkaroff, the current Director of the International Magical Cooperation Department of the Magical Congress is very interested in this, considering it a very good diplomatic means. Not only did he award them, but he even granted a large medal and a special fund to the nonexistent merchant association—of course, the actual amount of the latter was…
“Medals, medals, I want to go crazy making medals!”
Fred leaned against the wall—this thing shouldn't be made too flashy; at first, it was somewhat enjoyable, but later on, the sense of achievement was even less than that of wielding a fake magic wand.
“My dear brother, according to our definition of our own products, this might be the most expensive item we ever made in our lives: size 3 is at thirty, size 7 is at seventy. If mom found out about this price, she would definitely worry that we are ripping people off...”
```htmlGeorge made jokes in the midst of hardship— to demonstrate professionalism, they have to do this themselves, and it's still not finished.
Initially, the two were full of ambition, but now, just seeing this thing makes them want to vomit.```
They need to secretly apply makeup, gather information on which shops in the black market are more deceitful, then apply makeup again to submit a formal application, hire a translator, rent an office, personally send invitations, and then act to receive the money.
It's all hard-earned money...
"On average, one family every two days; this is simply the most exhausting internship ever..."
"Yeah, it’s been about half a month, time flies so fast. Once a full month passes, we'll go back to school to prepare for finals. At this rate, I'm afraid I'll lose my passion for running the store; I've been staring at the decorations for the fourth time..."
```html“I've also failed three times... even with Mr. Kakarov's information… there's still a significant gap from the plans we originally set…”
The two complained for a while, then got up with a grim expression and started preparing to create the next medal.```