Chapter 45 Childhood Memories 1 (Part 1)

She seemed to have had a dream, in which the mist slowly dissipated, like a theater curtain being lifted, revealing a life unfolding before her eyes. But you see, that stage was so lonely, it would take many, many years to not be so cold.
A girl was born in spring, but it was a cold spring with heavy snowfall, which made her carry an indelible chill from the moment she came into the world. The most unforgettable memory for her was a year when the snow was so deep that it could bury a person.
When she was naive, she never saw her parents once, and she didn't bother looking for them, it was useless. She vaguely knew that she had a place to go, where she could have clothes and food easily, and have almost unlimited freedom, but there was a faint voice in her heart saying -
No.
It's not like that.
This is not freedom.
None of these belong to you.
So even though everyone around her was coaxing her to live in that cold and impersonal big house, she didn't want to. Later on, she refused many times, and even though her refusal was useless, she still noticed their disgusted looks and would come across those people who would curse at her while bowing and being respectful towards her when they faced her, then hide in dark corners.
She really, really doesn't want to continue living.
Shuna has been with her since she was very young, so how young was she? When she was three years old, she would hold a three-month-old baby in her arms and call out Shuna's name with unclear pronunciation. She took her away and they grew up together. However, Shuna is mute and has never responded, only seeing her round, blinking eyes.
And she followed Lian Xi from a young age. This woman was clever even when she was a girl. She was excellent at bargaining and she remembered the secret martial arts techniques well in her mind. No matter which set you choose, she would teach you one set. If you didn't want to learn, she would still find a way to criticize you. Fortunately, in these years, the girl has gained weight from eating meat and has thickened her skin, so she has not been defeated.
After finding an opportunity to leave, they started living in the Xiao family. The sister of the Xiao family had incredible swordsmanship and was obsessed with swords. Her expression on her face was terrifyingly cold, and she was a person of few words. The younger brother always held a large bow and never let go. The adults said he was also a fool and would become a general in the future. A blaze red horse with a silver robe would be mighty, and being a knight would also be good, allowing him to live freely and unrestrained.
She walked into the outside world for the first time, heard about these things for the first time, found them novel, and followed the Xiao siblings clumsily, learning everything from them.
However, such days could not last forever in the end.
Lian Xi said that the elders in the clan had a deep connection with the Xiao family many years ago. Based on this relationship, she should call the older generation of the Xiao family as "Sishi" (a respectful term for uncle in Chinese). They treated her extremely well, but there were also discussions behind her back, probably thinking that she was naive and had no concerns.
She has bumped into him many times, sometimes even together with Xia. But his face was a little pale, and he smiled and said it was only human nature. So she knew from that moment that some people were nice to her with conditions, and she became more reticent. When she met other people at the Xiao family, she did not have a pleasant expression, except for the siblings of the Xiao family whom she treated with a smiling face.
Childhood sweethearts, inseparable companions, they were half of each other. But in the end, they were just childhood friends. The girl trusted him without any reason, treating him like she treated Shuni and Lianxi.
But at that time, he was everything to her.
At the age of six, she learned the first set of boxing and the first set of swordsmanship, and then they moved away from the Xiao family. She learned to ask, but Lianxiang didn't say where they were going. They went from east to west and north to south for half a year before he brought her to a couple and said she should call them father and mother.
She naturally did not call.
This family's surname is Ye, they live in North Chao. The man is a general, but he looks like a Confucian scholar. It is said that he specially took a leave of absence to welcome her home. He wore casual clothes and did not look like a military officer at all. The woman had a gentle face and spoke softly with care. She didn't want to believe it, nor dare to believe it. She thought it was just another temporary place to stay. She was cold-faced all day long and never said a word. There is also a boy in this family, the nominal older brother. The girl only sees him as a monkey because she can't ignore him.
The boy climbs up the tree to steal eggs and goes to the lake to catch fish. He is restless all day long and always comes to provoke her. Having a cold face with him doesn't work, but only a fierce expression and sometimes using some punches and kicks can enjoy a moment of peace.
However, he came back a moment later, smiling. It's not that he can't tell good from bad, he just can't resist provoking others. When others scold him, he sees it as a sign of their willingness to play with him. This is a bad trait, utterly despicable.
Another year passed like this. She asked Lian Xi again, but he still didn't say anything. He just taught her martial arts every day and forced her to study. Gradually, she didn't want to talk to him anymore. Shu Ni was a mute, so the girl became more and more isolated. Only the boy would sometimes take her out to play, and she agreed because she was bored.
But later it was discovered that the boy actually went out to play, mostly to pick fights with people. In the capital city, there were countless noble families and high-ranking officials. Their children were not born untouchable and dignified. They would also form alliances, exchanging childish threats and engaging in fights that only resulted in more bruises and broken skin.
A girl often finds a clean place to sit and watches a group of children fighting. One punches another's eye, leaving a bruise, and another trips one and causes a scrape—a bit boring, really, but there's not much that's interesting anyway, so she decides to continue following and watching.
For boys, fighting is a bit different. They prefer to use their sharp tongues to make others cry before taking advantage of their tears to strike. They are indeed despicable and love to use these deeds to boast as heroes.
For example, he once bullied someone, and the next day he was caught and beaten up by that person's older brother. He just took the opportunity to fight back a bit, scraping a bit of skin off the other person's knee. He considered this a heroic act and told her about it enthusiastically. He didn't even have time to change his clothes, with mud and water flowing down from his forehead, almost smearing into his mouth.
Is he stupid?
The girl looked at him coldly, looking up and down, and couldn't help but wonder if this person is stupid.
But the boy didn't feel the coldness in her gaze. Instead, he deliberately walked around her in circles to make her look at him more. "Accidentally," he spilled some mud on her skirt. However, he ran two steps away and still did not see the girl chasing after him in anger.
Even though she didn't even get angry, her expression never changed, which made the boy feel defeated. He lowered his head and walked away. But in a while, he changed his clothes, picked a branch of peach blossoms, and sat beside the girl. He secretly glanced at her while plucking off some wilting flowers from the branch, only leaving the ones that were still blooming beautifully, along with the flower buds.
But I still couldn't give this flower away.